the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
