Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
