Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
