she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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