Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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