I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We just shotgunned beers for America
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
