can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
