I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
