my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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