9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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