The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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