Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
