I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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