just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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