Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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