In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
