If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
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he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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