Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
