true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Church boner. Awkwardddd
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
