I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
