So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
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I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize