Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
