I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You took a bar mat shot.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
