Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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