my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
