Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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