My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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