She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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