I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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