Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize