I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
