You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
