HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
