now i know why i became what i already was.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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