im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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