if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Randomize
