The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
