You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
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It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
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You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We need to get me chipped asap
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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