I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
