my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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