I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
