that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i think im in europe. pls send help
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
