Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize