I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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