Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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