i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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