Your tits are I can't wait for
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
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Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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