Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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