no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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