i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
