so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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