I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
