I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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