It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize