I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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