While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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